PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
