So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
