:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
