it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
