"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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