I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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