think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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