The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I need to calm my uterus...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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