so that wasnt chicken after all
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
