New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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