I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
