Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
