She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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