Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
