Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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