In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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