is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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