I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
