playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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