Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
