8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
