Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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