I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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