Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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