i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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