Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize