Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
