Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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