I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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