had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
