I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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