Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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