He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
