Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
