If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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