She said her name was "party"
i barfeds in our rink
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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