all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
And then he peed in my hair
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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