I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
