I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
