A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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