Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
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