I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
