I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
