I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
