and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
