Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
