Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
