I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
