i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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