a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I checked into jail on foursquare
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
