i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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