I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
