At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
