you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
