thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
