omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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