And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize