As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
