we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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