winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
