i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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