the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
